Brandon's 2nd Step!!

Brandon turned second step today!! There are 7 steps in Brandon's apprenticeship.  Every step is 1000 hours and / or 6 months on the job.  The JATC gave brandon about 900 hours for his previous work experience so he was able to move up to 2nd step really quickly.  This is so exciting!! Its like he is being sent home 6 months earlier than normal!!  So I guess you could say we really only have about 2 1/2 years left until he can start trying to get a job at here and come home!

I'm really missing Brandon this week. I thought I would be strong enough to do the holidays without him but I am bumming bad.  We thought I would have to work the Monday after Christmas and we thought Brandon would only get the Monday after Christmas off.  We didn't want to fly him home for 3 days when I would only be off work for ONE day while he was here.  Well his crew didn't work today because the snow was so bad in Denver.  Tomorrow they are working a half day most likely and I found out I have Monday after Christmas off.  So in the end we probably could have brought him home for 5 days...instead we will just video chat Christmas morning, I sure am thankful for technology!

When Brandon first left I went through a lot of emotions.  Clearly I was very sad, my best friend just moved 1000 miles away.  I was so proud though, this thing we had been chasing for the entire time I had known Brandon was no longer a chase....he had gotten it.  Most of the time the pride I have for what Brandon does and the journey he was on trying to reach his goal outweighs my sadness.  Some days are harder than others.

I also felt a little bit of excitement to a certain extent. I know it is horrible to say but let me try to explain.  I felt wow, I will only have myself to take care of, my own laundry, my own dishes, my own self to cook dinner for.  I can watch my own TV shows, be on my own schedule and do anything I want when I want.  I felt I better enjoy this time now cause when we have kids I will never have anything "my own" again, let alone my own time.  I went the first 2 months of Brandon being gone without stepping foot into a grocery store.  I didn't want to buy food for just myself, so I just cleaned out our pantry and freezer.  I didn't make our bed, or barely clean our house...what did it matter no one would see.  I realized I needed to get out of that funk and keep the house the same way I would if Brandon was here.  I am trying to cook myself an actual dinner at least twice a week.  So far it has consisted of me cooking a large dinner like pasta and making it last all week....but I am trying.

3+ months into this I am over it being myself. I miss my partner.  I miss having someone to cook for, sometimes cooking two dinners cause we want two completely different things.  I miss doing his laundry and finding wood chips all over my clothes cause his pockets were full of wood chips from work. I miss watching our shows together or sometimes he would have his "Trucks" show on in the background or him watching a car show and rewinding it over and over to show me the same car several times.  I miss him tucking me in in the mornings when he left for work and running out to see him when he pulled in the driveway.  I miss running our errands on the weekends together, always crossing things off our to-do list.  I  miss getting to go see our friends together, instead of just me filling them in on how Brandon is doing.  I miss my old life with Brandon...but this is a new life so I have to find the good in it and it enjoy it while it lasts cause this phase will be a  distant memory someday and I am sure I will miss it too.

"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory"